Not Really But Seriously
>> Sideburns Don’t Actually Hurt.
>> Japanese Music is Not in English.
>> 3-D Glasses Make the World 3-D.
>> Just Because you want to Hug a Bear Doesn’t Mean it wants to Hug You.
>> Green Mario Has a Name. It’s Luigi.
>> The PSP is a Nut you Can Play Outside.
>> Our Water has DiHydrogen Monoxide in it. The Gov’t Put it There.
>> Boys Change Clothes Faster than Girls.
>> Plain Yogurt and Vanilla Yogurt are not the Same.
>> 100% of People Who Eat Honey Nut Cheerios Die.
>> Come With Me If You Want to Live.
>> Don’t Ride a Train to Hawaii.
>> Megaman Should be in Brawl.
>> The Pacific Coast is Near the Pacific Ocean.
>> Save the Whales a Piece of Pie.
>> The Sun is Going to Explode and Kill Us.
>> Kissing your Elbow Makes you Gay.
>> Goldfish is the Snack that Smiles Back.
>> Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start.
>> Eat Five Fruits and Vegetables Every Day.
>> “Pterodactyl” Starts with a “P”.
>> Basketball is Hard to Play with a Frisbee.
>> “Protractor” is Not a Political Position.
>> All You Need is Love. And Money.
>> Fifteen Buses Is One More Than Evil Knievel Jumped.
>> Today is Tomorrow’s Yesterday.
>> Fire Places May Contain Fire.
>> Crosswalks Are Not Just Suggestions.
>> You Can’t PIck Your Friend’s Nose.
>> A Group of Unicorns is Called a “Blessing”.
>> Optimal Image Resolution on the Internet is 72 dpi, not 400 dpi.
>> If you Give a Mouse a Cookie, You’re Part of the Problem.
>> No One’s Neck is as Incredibly Thick as Gaston’s.
>> Plain Yogurt and Vanilla Yogurt Are Not the Same.
Updates on Tuesdays!
>> Chic-Fil-A Sauce Tastes Great With Everything.
>> Nothing you See on TV is Real.
>> ‘I’ Before ‘E’, or Anything Made By Apple.
>>Green Eggs and Ham May or May Not Be Moldy.
>>History is Just Gossiping About Dead People.
>>Being Bored Means Living Longer.
>>Sour Milk Does Not Taste Good on Cereal.
>>Flossing Prevents the Need for Root Canals.
>>Watching Movie Trailers is Like Having Premarital Sex.
>>Swimmers Don’t Like Swimmer’s Ear.
>>Hopping on One Leg With Your Head to the Side Cures Swimmer’s Ear.
>>Don’t Fall Asleep With the Oven On.
>>Satan Doesn’t Like to Exorcise.
>>Don’t Label Top Secret Files as “Top Secret.”
>>Butt Dials and Booty Calls are Completely Different Things.
>>All is Not Fair in Love and War.
>>Breaking a Mirror is Unlucky for your Wallet.
>>Neopolitan is Not a General of the French Army.
>>Humans Can’t Perform Photosynthesis.
>>Don’t Eat Too Much Ice Cream.
>>Pine Needles Are Not Good For Sewing
>>Urinals Are Not Wishing Wells.
>>Magnifying Glasses Should Be Called Sun Glasses.
>>Neptune Is the Furthest Planet From the Sun.
>>Never Pay Full Price For Late Pizza.
>>Scientists Have Discovered Liquid Ice.
>>Boys Have Adversaries. Girls Have Frenemies.
>>It’s Time to Make the Donuts.
>>More Men Buy Sprinkled Donuts Than Women.
>>College Students Don’t Have Money.
>>Tilt Your Screen and Look From Below.
>>Watermelons Are Technically Berries.
>>Trix are For Kids and College Students.
>>(Correction) You Can Drown a Lung Fish.
>>Don’t Whistle While You Eat.
>>Soap is the 5th best thing ever invented.
>>Refrigerators are the 4th best thing ever invented.
